The Truth About Being Human and How I Was Doing it All Wrong... By Joelene Wolfe

It hit me like a ton of hot bricks one quiet Sunday morning.   While I have worked extremely hard to dig deep and lead my life from a place of authenticity, I realized in a hot second that I have been doing it all wrong.  All the work, the digging deep, the tools I implemented was holding me back from the things I have been trying so hard to accomplish.  This unexpected ah-ha moment was one of enlightenment and frustration. Such is life and being human!

To express the sheer irony of it all, I have to put this discovery in context.  My personal journey over the past 10 years inspired me to help others conquer their inner obstacles like fear, procrastination and excuses to get what they truly want out of life. Giving someone the tools to get out their own way and shine, is priceless! 

Translation – I should have known better!

So, on that fateful Sunday, I woke up early to get some needed “me time”.  With coffee in hand and dog at my feet, I closed my eyes to listen to a Deepak Chopra meditation.  This was nothing new since meditation has become a big part of my life, my growth and my sanity.

I wasn’t exactly sure what the meditation was about, but I was all in.  Before it began, Deepak talked a bit about its meaning.  He explained the difference between coming from a place of one’s true self found through meditation versus coming from a place of ego.  While I know about the ego and its idiosyncrasies, I never really thought about it the way he explained.

Breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth.

In a nutshell, he so eloquently clarified how meditation opens us up to experience a sense of love, compassion and peace.  So, when we have goals and set an intention from that place, the Universe will effortlessly return all we need and want out of life – the experiences, the circumstances – all of it.  It sounded so easy and lovely. I totally understood this in theory, but I didn’t see the epiphany that was coming next.

He went on to explain, if desires are driven from a place of ego they’d be born out of fear, lack and weakness.  Success is possible this way, but it can be short-lived, unfulfilling and leave us still in a place of lack.  In other words, we spin our wheels, try super hard, get a little success but never have enough to satisfy us. 

Holy lightbulb! 

This is EXACTLY what I have been doing for most of my life. It took Deepak 3 minutes to articulate what I have been trying to avoid for 40+ years – an unfulfilling life.  All the years of yoga, meditating, visualizing, reiki, readings has been built upon me wanting everything from a total place of fear and lack. 

Damn you, ego.

It is such a simple concept really. If we open our hearts and come a place of truth – no fear, no excuses, no bull - life will become much easier leaving us fulfilled. If we neglect the beauty around us and come from a place of fear and greed, we will continue to be unfulfilled, inevitably lacking everything we desire. 

Like a good little mindful girl, I have put all my energy into wishing, wanting and praying but from the wrong darn place - my head!  I repeatedly took one step forward, celebrated and then rapidly fell three steps back. You can imagine the feeling in the pit of stomach when I realized, I was coming at life all wrong.  

Intuitively, I know that we can’t escape pitfalls or detours, but we can learn from them. Luckily, I know that making mistakes is part of the journey. What is that old saying? 

Live and learn. 

Now instead of visualizing with my head about all the sexy things I want out of life, I lead gently with my heart from a place of love. I focus on what I can give back versus getting. This new place of origin actually feels more natural and less forced. 


Believe it or not, I have seen major shifts by this ultra-simple change. So, I suppose, being human isn’t all bad!

Joelene Wolfe is the founder of Happiness Depends. After years working in the corporate world and following someone else's dream, she took the big leap to finally follow her own. Happiness depends on so many things, but it always starts with an idea, a feeling and a first step. She now enjoys helping others conquer their inner obstacles to take the first step toward their dreams through her writing, coaching and online courses.

Find out more at

Follow on Instagram @happiness_depends and Facebook @HappinessDependson.

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